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A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking older retired Marine in his mid-sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment--chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired Marine and asks, "Can you top that?"
The old Marine replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a tall Texas gentleman who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her neatly on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch me! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and said, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends."