July 2003 Archives

As you likely know by now, the great comedian and actor, Bob Hope passed away this past Monday, July 28, 2003. What you may not know is that Vincent Canby, the renowned film critic who wrote the lead obituary printed in the New York Times today had died on October 15, 2000--nearly two years BEFORE Hope.

As you may know, I grew up and went to undergrad in Buffalo, NY. For those of you who don't know much about Buffalo, I thought I would share a little insight with you on the personalities and attitudes associated with different areas in and near Buffalo through the following series of light bulb jokes:

Q: How many West Siders does it take to screw
in a light bulb?

A: I dunno, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss' secretary's sister's next door neighbor's priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights of Columbus Sergeant-at-Arms' nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.

NOTE: I grew up on the West Side!

Q: How many UB students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 25,000 - twenty to write the grant proposal requesting funds to study the effect of earthquakes on light bulbs, one to screw in the bulb, and 24,979 to whine about how Buffalo light bulbs suck compared to the ones on Long Island.

Yesterday I went to my friend Alexandra's wedding. Alex and I have been friends since we worked together in 1996. She's married a great guy, Dan, and I was honored to be invited to their wedding yesterday.

Here's a photo of the happy couple:

In yesterday's entry I referenced two of my preferred online dictionaries. I thought it might be helpful to post a list of some of my favorite online English dictionaries.

Last night my buddy John called to ask what do you call someone who makes hats. I thought, "Duh, a hat maker!" But before answering, and knowing John, I knew he was looking for the fancier synonym: haberdasher. After a brief conversation about it, I was left to wondering if I it meant what we thought it did. I did a little online research this morning and determined that, as I suspected, I didn't have it entirely correct.

I was looking at more TEFL (teaching English as a foreign language) programs online today and saw one that asked for applicants to complete a grammar and vocabulary assessment questionnaire. One of the items it asked was for the difference between practice and practise.

Today I decided to do some research to see what the top stories in Spain are. Along the way I discovered a tongue-in-cheek list of useful Spanish phrases for David Beckham following his ?25m trade to the Real Madrid:

?Se me ve gordo el culo en este sarong?
Does my bum look big in this sarong?

?D?nde puto se puede comprar Gucci en esta maldita ciudad?
Where the hell can I buy Gucci in this wretched city?

No pasa nada, el jefe me tir? una bota en la cara nada m?s.
It's nothing - the boss just threw a boot in my face, that's all.

Check out the rest of the phrases from Sean Clark's June 11, 2003 article on the Guardian website.

David Beckham is a British football (Americans read "soccer") player who was recently traded by Manchester United to the Real Madrid.

When I'm sitting in a restaurant trying to eat a meal, the one thing I enjoy is the occasional opportunity to eavesdrop on couples on their first or second date. Tonight I was seated next to a couple that was on such a date and it took everything in my power to not pass my quesadilla through my nose when I heard some of the pathetic stories being bantered between these two love-weary souls.

Here's a haiku I wrote in their honor:

Two divorced people,
Share emotional baggage,
Hell of a first date.

Back in December 2002 I saw the weirdest bumper sticker in my life. I remembered it today because I saw the same car in the parking lot at Dunkin' Donuts. Obviously I didn't park next to it:

"I'm getting tired of slitting the throats of all the people who think I'm a deranged psychopath"

As I've mentioned previously in this blog, I'm taking a Beginning Spanish class at The Cambridge Center for Adult Education this summer. Initially I signed up for it to serve as a distraction from work. Now that I've left that job, I'm taking my Spanish studies much more seriously including using it in my journaling exercises.

Here's my first haiku written in Spanish (Mi primer haiku español):

¿Cuál es su nombre?
Llámeme carne muerta,
Me llamo bonehead.

This is one of my favorite quotes about technical writing:

"Technical writing is a form of brain damage caused by an over-development of the corpus callosum--a sort of cerebral cross-wiring. It manifests itself as a compulsion to explain complex things so that mere motals can understand them."

- William Horton
Writer's Pocket Almanack

This past Saturday I attended my friend's daughter's birthday party. It was a Harry Potter theme, though the weather was a bit warm so that most of the kids shed their Hogwarts robes and wizard hats as soon they finished with the sorting ceremony.

The highlight of the party was a magic show by a local magician, shown here with one of the guests:

This image appeals to me because of the feeling of an aerial landscape photo made by the foam floating on the water. The shadows cast by the branch add to this effect as well. I also like the touch of color provided by the green leaves floating in the bottom left corner.

Camera
Olympus Camedia C-3040 Zoom

Location
Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary
Massachusetts Audubon Society
Natick, MA

This is a draft of a chapter of a novel that I started writing in 1991. It's based on a true story. Feedback welcome.

The Incident at Cowles' Pasture

"S-s-s-s-shhhh!"

"What!"

"I heard something!"

This is a joke I received from my Dad back in February. I think it accurately portrays the evils and failures of managed health care:

A doctor, a nurse, and an HMO manager were at the Pearly Gates when St. Peter asked them to identify themselves. The doctor said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon. I helped kids overcome deformities." St. Peter said, "You may enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The nurse said, "I was a hospice nurse. I helped make people comfortable as the end approached." St. Peter said, "You may enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The HMO manager said, "I was an HMO manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care." St. Peter said, "You may enter the Kingdom of Heaven." As the HMO manager started forward, St. Peter added, "But you are limited to a three-day stay. After that, you can go to hell."

This image appeals to me on two levels: first the sense of primordial nature that ferns invokes; and second, the contrast between the color of the ferns and the maple and oak leaves in the background.

Camera
Olympus Camedia C-3040 Zoom

Technical Notes
I've lightened the foreground using Adobe Photoshop because the flash on my digital camera wasn't strong enough to create a proper fill-flash without washing out the detail at the base of the ferns. A side-effect of this was that the ferns' stems and tips now seem to have a glow.

Location
Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary
Massachusetts Audubon
Natick, MA